is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
