Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
don't judge my taste in strippers
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
