"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
