well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
