Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
