forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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