Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
