Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
