Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
