threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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