So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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