How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
