I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
