i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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