If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
