Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
