I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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