I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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