At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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