are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
