bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
