well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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