i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
