She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
