there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
