i wish peter jackson would direct porn
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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