I think I won the penis lottery.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
