you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
