im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
