is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
