I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The beer is more important than you right now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
