I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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