All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
