I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
