they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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