How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
