my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
