we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
this just has baby written all over it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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