Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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