Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
