Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
