Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
