If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
