last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My vagina is officially offended.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
