Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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