apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
