After last night, I could never be a politician.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
