they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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