1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
