She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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