You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
