it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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