I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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